"Happily Married Men Get Fat"

I ran four miles in honor of July fourth, grateful that Independence Day didn't fall later later in the month. But even more important, on a personal level, is that today is also my three year wedding anniversary - one of three weddings my wife and I celebrated together. While I was engaged, a colleague warned me about the physical deterioration that I would endure after I got married, since "Happily married men get fat," she claimed. The key word is "happily," and she cited her husband as proof. A man with a once athletic build, she noted he had since put on a lot of weight. She didn't explain the reason in detail, it was more stated as fact, like the sun is going to rise tomorrow. She elaborated a little, even though I wasn't fully listening at that point, about becoming complacent after one gets hitched, no need to "compete" on the market, you can let yourself go now. "One can't be happily married and still stays in shape?" I asked. "Doesn't matter. Mark my words: Happily. Married. Men. Get. Fat." she replied, making it sound like I had a better chance of escaping from a fat interstellar black hole than I did staying fit during my voyage of matrimony. I disagreed, but she told me I'll see she's right...

Well, she's wrong. Up to now, anyway. And if I'm not fat after three happy years, I say I'm good for at least three more. But the issue isn't even one of weight - her husband still looked great and jovial, like a younger, more fit Santa. I took issue with the idea about letting oneself go after getting married, as if fitness, happiness and matrimony were mutually exclusive. The entire conversation seems almost silly looking back on it, and I regret not making a stronger case. It was at an after-work happy hour and she might have been a little drunk, so I'll let it go. Plus, if I just tweak one letter, her expression can be corrected to "Happily married men get fit." With some work, of course. But the joy of being healthy and fit, and in a happy marriage, is certainly worth the effort.